This puts both parties at ease, and the chat on ice if they’re with their boss/mum, and means you won’t risk feeling rebuffed, especially if it’s taken a lot of guts to press send in the first place. Try opening a sext session with options, including an elegant opt-out: “Would you rather tell me what you’d do to me if I was with you right now – or make time to talk later?” If that feels awkward, sending texts or even voicenotes can be a less intimidating way of starting a sultry conversation you can take your time composing what you want to say, and simply delete and do over if it doesn’t land. Sex educator and tutor of the Dirty Talk and Consent in Conversation workshop, Lola Jean, suggests casually chatting about names you do/don’t like yourself and your body parts to be called, as well as physical and non-physical compliments you enjoy, before you venture into anything proper.
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